Hooray New Pump-new Hope
I'm drowing in test strips. They are very where I go. I leave this funny trail of blue and metal. Random places, the babysitter's driveway, the floor in the library, the floor of my son's room, my bed.
I just got a new pump upgrade, and am looking forward to putting it on and starting like a new diabetic. I am hoping to tell my doctor to treat me as though I am new to this-because I feel like I need re-learning. I feel like I have learned as much as I can and am now making decisions based on fear rather than knowledge. Like I wait to give myself insulin until after I have eaten-in fear that I will go low. Or sometimes I don't give myself insulin at all. All of this I know is wrong. Like an alcoholic knows they shouldn't drink. It is all in the mind. I am more and more surprised at how in control-and out of control- we are of our lives through our minds. The brain is shockingly able to turn so many things. I love when I can think myself into being relaxed-at ease,.
I am hoping to test less, and be more confident with how insulin works in my body. I feel like anymore it is anyone's (mine) guess as to how much insulin I should take at a given meal.
I think that is why this is so stressful in my life right now. I worry when I sart the car-in fear that I will crash with my babies inside. I get nervous before a walk or run-I don't even bother with that now-because I'm not sure how my body will react.
A trip to the doctor's will hopefully be just what I need. It will be Friday. See you then!
I just got a new pump upgrade, and am looking forward to putting it on and starting like a new diabetic. I am hoping to tell my doctor to treat me as though I am new to this-because I feel like I need re-learning. I feel like I have learned as much as I can and am now making decisions based on fear rather than knowledge. Like I wait to give myself insulin until after I have eaten-in fear that I will go low. Or sometimes I don't give myself insulin at all. All of this I know is wrong. Like an alcoholic knows they shouldn't drink. It is all in the mind. I am more and more surprised at how in control-and out of control- we are of our lives through our minds. The brain is shockingly able to turn so many things. I love when I can think myself into being relaxed-at ease,.
I am hoping to test less, and be more confident with how insulin works in my body. I feel like anymore it is anyone's (mine) guess as to how much insulin I should take at a given meal.
I think that is why this is so stressful in my life right now. I worry when I sart the car-in fear that I will crash with my babies inside. I get nervous before a walk or run-I don't even bother with that now-because I'm not sure how my body will react.
A trip to the doctor's will hopefully be just what I need. It will be Friday. See you then!
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