Navigating Coronavirus as a Mom and a Diabetic


In my journey as a mother, I have slowly evolved from a fact-seeking, parenting book-reading, over-planner to letting go, easing up the reigns, giving space. Now that a couple of my kids are teens, and one will be hitting preteen life, my life of sippy cups, set bedtimes, and cheering up a crying kid was as easy as reading on my lap with a popsicle, is over.
The journey, immensely powerful and wonderful, is complicated by my own struggle with Type One Diabetes (my ugly-stepchild as I like to call it.) Navigating thankfully has included prioritizing my own mental health, keeping days low stress, and stepping out of the rat race. I have handed these lessons down as gently as possible to my children. Don't worry, I am normal, there is yelling and crying, and all the crazy. But a lot of talking and figuring too.
Except this week.
My mind has bounced like a ball from thoughts of thankfulness and joy for spring's arrival, to deciding to break down and shop at Costco for the first time in my life to buy what, who knows, but they may sell out and we better be prepared.
I've been watching the news, tuning my ear to the radio and listening for all the details they aren't providing. A flu is one thing, but a flu that is killing old people and Diabetics at a higher rate is instantly terrifying to me.
My kids, like all kids are getting reminders about handwashing and coughing properly, and they are hearing my words of caution. And when I remind them of the seriousness, they remind me not to panic. They are right to ease our worries with reality checks and skepticism. My husband and I place critical thinking as a high priority, next to healthy eating as we raise these 21st century people. Logically, I agree with their reminder to not fall victim to panic, except for the damn news, which lacks important details, continuously reporting Diabetics at risk of dying from this mysterious strain of COVID-19. I know what it looks like and why it is called the coronavirus (spikes around its edges look like a crown). I know it presents with a dry cough, fever. I know doctors have died, and old people and Diabetics. But why specifically Diabetics?
So here is where my years as a Type 1, decades of reading and writing, and lifelong curiosity works its magic. I know I don't want to freak out. I made the best of my trip to the soulless big box store, using it as a time to connect with my father. But I know I need to start with where I have always found comfort, questioning people I know and trust in the medical field. They are on the front lines, they are getting the daily updates and they are seeing the sick already.
In my talks I have been reminded that like all Type 1 Diabetics, as long as we are healthy and keeping our blood sugars in control, our bodies can likely fight this infection as we fight all infections. And move on. If only the media would decipher what they mean when they say just "Diabetics are more likely to die from this". Which ones? Is it Type 1s, Type 2s, those with soaring A1Cs? (A1C is a blood test that checks 3 months worth of sugar in our system)
There are a lot of us out there, and I can bet money that every Type 1 adult, every mother of a child with Type 1, has a spike in fear and anxiety and blood pressure every time we hear that particular part of the news update.
I caught myself repeating the data to my oldest, just to drive home why he needs to wash his hands. What am I thinking? I know better than to perpetuate random, unclear data (I was a journalist!) Why am I buying into the hype?
Because we are human, we slip, we want to not die and we want our kids to not die. It's kind of that simple.
Staying away from media does help in keeping the peace, and allows for time to think logically and carefully about how our family will handle this round of widespread illness.
And preparing is always something that brings peace of mind to a mother, to a person with any kind of chronic illness, or those who struggle with anxiety. I called in my prescription for my 3 month supply of insulin. That order spurred one of my children who knows my Diabetes is a part of me like my eye color, to ask what happens if I don't have insulin. He is 13 and becoming aware of life and death. I told him I would live off of eggs and water as long as possible, and I wouldn't survive. It was hard to tell him that hard truth knowing he now fully understands Type 1 is not just an inconvenience, something that slows us down on occasion or makes me cranky, or requires him to join us in a fundraiser walk in the park. It is so much more, it is so much bigger.
It's strange and fascinating to see how we get through these bumpy parts of parenthood. No book, no plan, no advice column is going to present itself right at the moment when the shit is hitting the fan. That's when I go on instinct and pull from all the knowledge stocked up in my brain.
And hope that buying eggs in bulk, and the biggest box of popsicles will help us keep moving forward mostly unscathed, ready for what's next.

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