The Long Way Home
If there is one thing I wish I could do more, it is to travel the world. I have been fortunate to travel in bits and pieces throughout my life, but there will always be wanderlust stuck deep down inside of me, that will make me want more travel. Always.
Before I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, I was younger and in my early 20's and had ideas about where I wanted to go. There were trips that I took that made me want to change the person I was. Places I have been that have inspired art, writing, and solidified my sense of independence. There were trips I planned and never took, but thought I would someday. And there was the freedom of travel without concern for numbers, lows, hospital locations, and supplies.
So the notion of travel changed dramatically for me when I was diagnosed, and I became more fearful, more timid, less daring. What if on a trip to the middle of a desert in Egypt I get a low blood sugar? Do they understand pumps and meters in China? How much sugar is in the drinks in Africa? These big questions swirled in my head and settled down right next to my Wanderlust. It was like bad peer pressure. Getting on a plane as a Type 1 was terrifying. I carried notes from doctors to hand to airport security. Did you know that there is another line for Diabetics with pumps? They actually test the palms of your hands for illegal substances and harmful chemicals. In one security line at 5 a.m. in Florida, I reached for my pump and didn't find it. That moment of thinking through the last 24 hours, kids and husband ahead of me, plane boarding, pump missing, stopped when I reached on the other side of my belt loop and found it.
I have it in me to push myself beyond my comfort levels, to keep my stress within so as not to alarm anyone near and dear to me. And once I became a mother, I put my fears aside and put my desire to teach my kids the love of travel first. Thus embarking on road trips up and down the east coast, hiking trips in the mountains, and even plane trips to a beach. Every mile I have traveled has been a lesson for me, in mind, spirit and body. One way I have taught myself to feel comfortable when I am far from home is to let my sugars run high. Don't tell my doctor. But it keeps me secure because I know I won't drop so low as to faint and cause a stir, knowing that the long-term effect of a high sugar is not as important as the immediate need. Now that I write that, I realize that is also how my husband and I have reasoned our finances. Ha.
So as I'm getting older, I'm far from my careless 20's, well into my 30's, and almost to my 40's. And it hit me recently that those long-term physical side effects I ignored, may be creeping closer than I know. I've changed some of my bolusing practices and am working at getting comfortable with lows, and more certain that high blood sugars are not so great. The constant mantra in my head.."I will be okay," has comforted me through some scary rides. After traveling thousands of miles I've learned travel with this disease can be done. Preparation is a big part of traveling with Type 1, in fact I call packing for my Diabetes, Packing for My Evil Stepchild. And so it goes, and I try to be as prepared as possible whenever I leave home. But like the disease and like any experience traveling, you can never really know what lies ahead.
The last time I traveled alone was on a trip just outside of New York City. I had a moment of fear, in the quietest part of New York where there are fly-fisherman, taxidermists, and dusty storefronts at each lonely exit. The highway is long, the mountains are high and the cell reception is nonexistent. Driving along, looking out the window, listening to an audiobook, it hit me that if I were to get a flat at that very moment, I'd be screwed. The last time I changed a tire was on a small car, and I now I was driving a minivan. Also my sugars were dropping a bit and it was close to dinner. I made it fine through the lonely country and into the heart of the deeply populated suburbs of the city. Sugar land. My trip went well, it was good for my soul to see new people, and places, and as the trip ended I headed to my minivan in the parking lot. Only to find a completely flat back tire.
Before I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, I was younger and in my early 20's and had ideas about where I wanted to go. There were trips that I took that made me want to change the person I was. Places I have been that have inspired art, writing, and solidified my sense of independence. There were trips I planned and never took, but thought I would someday. And there was the freedom of travel without concern for numbers, lows, hospital locations, and supplies.
So the notion of travel changed dramatically for me when I was diagnosed, and I became more fearful, more timid, less daring. What if on a trip to the middle of a desert in Egypt I get a low blood sugar? Do they understand pumps and meters in China? How much sugar is in the drinks in Africa? These big questions swirled in my head and settled down right next to my Wanderlust. It was like bad peer pressure. Getting on a plane as a Type 1 was terrifying. I carried notes from doctors to hand to airport security. Did you know that there is another line for Diabetics with pumps? They actually test the palms of your hands for illegal substances and harmful chemicals. In one security line at 5 a.m. in Florida, I reached for my pump and didn't find it. That moment of thinking through the last 24 hours, kids and husband ahead of me, plane boarding, pump missing, stopped when I reached on the other side of my belt loop and found it.
I have it in me to push myself beyond my comfort levels, to keep my stress within so as not to alarm anyone near and dear to me. And once I became a mother, I put my fears aside and put my desire to teach my kids the love of travel first. Thus embarking on road trips up and down the east coast, hiking trips in the mountains, and even plane trips to a beach. Every mile I have traveled has been a lesson for me, in mind, spirit and body. One way I have taught myself to feel comfortable when I am far from home is to let my sugars run high. Don't tell my doctor. But it keeps me secure because I know I won't drop so low as to faint and cause a stir, knowing that the long-term effect of a high sugar is not as important as the immediate need. Now that I write that, I realize that is also how my husband and I have reasoned our finances. Ha.
So as I'm getting older, I'm far from my careless 20's, well into my 30's, and almost to my 40's. And it hit me recently that those long-term physical side effects I ignored, may be creeping closer than I know. I've changed some of my bolusing practices and am working at getting comfortable with lows, and more certain that high blood sugars are not so great. The constant mantra in my head.."I will be okay," has comforted me through some scary rides. After traveling thousands of miles I've learned travel with this disease can be done. Preparation is a big part of traveling with Type 1, in fact I call packing for my Diabetes, Packing for My Evil Stepchild. And so it goes, and I try to be as prepared as possible whenever I leave home. But like the disease and like any experience traveling, you can never really know what lies ahead.
The last time I traveled alone was on a trip just outside of New York City. I had a moment of fear, in the quietest part of New York where there are fly-fisherman, taxidermists, and dusty storefronts at each lonely exit. The highway is long, the mountains are high and the cell reception is nonexistent. Driving along, looking out the window, listening to an audiobook, it hit me that if I were to get a flat at that very moment, I'd be screwed. The last time I changed a tire was on a small car, and I now I was driving a minivan. Also my sugars were dropping a bit and it was close to dinner. I made it fine through the lonely country and into the heart of the deeply populated suburbs of the city. Sugar land. My trip went well, it was good for my soul to see new people, and places, and as the trip ended I headed to my minivan in the parking lot. Only to find a completely flat back tire.
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