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What! A Year!
Well that happens doesn't it. A year goes by, and you realize the book you wanted to write, the photo albums, the room renovation, and the great ideas for when I had time never really did happen. But hey a hell of a lot of things were going on too.
So I've been home with my sons and enjoying moments of tea in the morning, teaching them to read and write and listen to the birds, and call them by name. I've picked up the hobby of bird-watching, and gardening. I nap. But I'm afraid I'm turning into an old woman already, walking slower in the yard, keeping the thermostat waaay down-to the grumblings of my cold-footed husband and children. Walking instead of running for exercise. And sometimes I think that with Diabetes, it is better to take it slow, better on my body, my mental health, etc. But I'm not old- my 33rd birthday is around the corner. I've got little rascally kids running all over the place. And we're thinking about growing our family just a bit more.
It's funny how the disease makes you look at life in a different way-for me at least-I am more sympathetic, more aware of death being a reality. I'm more disappointed if I don't accomplish something, and more apt to think in terms of the fast pace of time, and how our lives are always changing, and I try to take nothing for granted.
That said, I've had these great years of extra time with my little ones, working part-part time, and what have I done? I thought for sure by now that I would have perfect A1C's and feel like I really have the bull by the horns when it comes to this disease. Maybe by now I would have trained and been in a 5K and gotten support for research. But I haven't. I'm in relatively good health, eat well, and check my sugars all of the time. But my A1C's are still above 7, I still get high readings, I haven't been running-just walking. Hmm.
Do we take on the responsibility to live the extra good life when we are given a diagnosis of a chronic illness? Are we disappointing oursleves, our family, our friends if we don't become spokespeople for the disease? I'm not sure-no one says they're disappointed-they are proud of me. But I can't help but feel like I am letting someone down (maybe my doc, my kids?) when I get high readings. I am happy to be writing again. I need to do this-at least one thing on my list I can put a check next to-as long as I post again soon!
Well that happens doesn't it. A year goes by, and you realize the book you wanted to write, the photo albums, the room renovation, and the great ideas for when I had time never really did happen. But hey a hell of a lot of things were going on too.
So I've been home with my sons and enjoying moments of tea in the morning, teaching them to read and write and listen to the birds, and call them by name. I've picked up the hobby of bird-watching, and gardening. I nap. But I'm afraid I'm turning into an old woman already, walking slower in the yard, keeping the thermostat waaay down-to the grumblings of my cold-footed husband and children. Walking instead of running for exercise. And sometimes I think that with Diabetes, it is better to take it slow, better on my body, my mental health, etc. But I'm not old- my 33rd birthday is around the corner. I've got little rascally kids running all over the place. And we're thinking about growing our family just a bit more.
It's funny how the disease makes you look at life in a different way-for me at least-I am more sympathetic, more aware of death being a reality. I'm more disappointed if I don't accomplish something, and more apt to think in terms of the fast pace of time, and how our lives are always changing, and I try to take nothing for granted.
That said, I've had these great years of extra time with my little ones, working part-part time, and what have I done? I thought for sure by now that I would have perfect A1C's and feel like I really have the bull by the horns when it comes to this disease. Maybe by now I would have trained and been in a 5K and gotten support for research. But I haven't. I'm in relatively good health, eat well, and check my sugars all of the time. But my A1C's are still above 7, I still get high readings, I haven't been running-just walking. Hmm.
Do we take on the responsibility to live the extra good life when we are given a diagnosis of a chronic illness? Are we disappointing oursleves, our family, our friends if we don't become spokespeople for the disease? I'm not sure-no one says they're disappointed-they are proud of me. But I can't help but feel like I am letting someone down (maybe my doc, my kids?) when I get high readings. I am happy to be writing again. I need to do this-at least one thing on my list I can put a check next to-as long as I post again soon!
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